Buffy Shtuff

Spike Quotes
1.'I love syphilis, more than you!'
2.'Now, don't tell me that wasn't fun. Oh, God! It's been so long since I had a decent spot of violence. Really puts things in perspective.'
3.'Haven't you figured it all out yet, with your enormous squishy frontal lobes? '
4.'Dracula? Poncy bugger owes me eleven quid for one'
5.'Comfy? I'm chained in a bathtub drinkin' pig's blood from a novelty mug. Doesn't rank huge in the Zagut's Guide'
6.'I want Dru back, I've just gotta be the man I was, the man she loved. I'm gonna do what I shoulda done in the first place, I'll find her, wherever she is, tie her up, torture her
until she likes me again.'
7.'Yeah, I've got an unlife, you know!'
8.'She just left. She didn't even care enough to cut off my head or set me on fire. I mean, is that too much to ask? You know? Some little sign that she cared?'
9."What a fantastic day. Birds singin', squirrels makin' lots of rotten little squirrels,
the sun beaming down in a nice non-fatal way. It's very exciting. I can't wait to see if I freckle."
10.'It's a big rock. I can't wait to tell my friends. They don't have a rock this big'
11.(commenting on his implant) "I'm saying that Spike had a little trip to the vet, and now he doesn't chase the other puppies anymore."
12.'I say we go out there and kick a little demon ass! What, can't go without your Buffy?
13.Is that it? Too chicken? Let's find her! She is the Chosen One, after all. Come on, vampires, rrrr, nasty! Let's annihilate them. For justice, and for... the safety of puppies,and Christmas, right? Let's fight that evil! Let's kill something! Oh, come on!'
14.Spike: Why don't you rip her lungs out?
Angel: It lacks... poetry.
Spike: Doesn't have to. What rhymes with 'lungs'?
15.Buffy: Do we really need weapons for this?
Spike: I just like them. They make me feel all manly.
16.'If every vampire who said he was at the crucifixion was actually there, it would have been like Woodstock. I was actually at Woodstock. That was a weird gig. I fed off a flowerperson, and I spent the next six hours watchin' my hand move.'
17.'We like to talk big. Vampires do. I'm going to destroy the world. That's just tough guy talk. Strutting around with your friends over a pint of blood. The truth is, I like this world. You've got... dog racing, Manchester United. And you've got people. Billions of people walking around like Happy Meals with legs. It's all right here. But then someone comes along with a vision. With a real... passion for destruction. Angel could pull it off. Goodbye, Piccadilly. Farewell, Leicester Bloody Square. You know what I'm saying?'
18.Buffy: Fine. Keep going, I cut you a break.
Spike: Oh, yeah. Okay, let me guess... you won't kill me? Wooo... the whole crowd-pleasing threats-and-swagger routine. How stunningly original. You know, I'm just passing through. Satisfied? You know, I really hope so because God knows you need some satisfaction in life besides shagging Captain Cardboard and I never really liked you anyway and ... and you havestupid hair.
19.Buffy: What are you doing here? Five words or less.
Spike:(glares, then counts on fingers) Out. For. A. Walk. (pauses) Bitch.
20.'I'm drownin' in ya, Summers. Drowning in ya.'
21.Glory: I am a god.
Spike: The god of what? Bad home perms?
Glory: Shut up! I command you: shut up!
Spike: Yeah, okay. Sorry, but I had no idea that gods were such prancing lightweights.
Mark my words: the slayer is going to kick your skanky, lopsided ass back to whatever place would take a cheap whorish, fashion-victim, ex-god like you.
(she power kicks him across the room)
Spike (spitting out blood): Good plan Spike!
22.(to Buffy whilst getting dressed) 'That's right, turn your blushing eyes away.'
23.Spike: "They're just trying to keep you safe, I expect."
Dawn: "I feel safe with you."
Spike: [chokes] "Take that back!"
24.Buffy: "The late night stake-out, the bogus suspects, the flask... is this a date?"
Spike: "A... please! A date! You are completely off your bird! I mean-- do you want it to be?"
25.Buffy: "You don't know what feelings are."
Spike: "I damn well do! I lie awake every night."
Buffy: "You sleep during the day!"
Spike: "Yeah, bu-- You're missing the point."
26.Spike:"What's bleedin' wrong, with you bloody women? What the hell, does it take?! Why do you bitches torture me?!"
Buffy: "Which question do you want me to answer first?"
27.Spike: You want me to take them out? Give me a hell of a headache but I could probably thin the herd a little. Knew I could get a grin.
Buffy: Why are you always around when I'm miserable?
Spike: Cuz that's when you're alone I reckon. I'm not one for crowds myself these days.
Buffy: Me neither.
Spike: That works out nicely then.
Buffy: So what do you know about finances?
28.Drunk Buffy: And the only person that I can even stand to be around is a neutered vampire that cheats at kitten poker.
Spike: Oh, you saw the cheating, did you?
Drunk Buffy: Also, I think you're drunk.
29.Spike: Feel like a bit of the rough and tumble?
Buffy: What?
Spike: Me. You. Patrolling? Hello?
Buffy: Oh! Uh, I should stay. Maybe tomorrow.
Spike: Hm, not like I don't already have plans. Great Pumpkin's on in twenty.
Buffy: So much easier to talk to when he wanted to kill me.
30.Spike: Oh. So that's all. Come to pump me for information?
Buffy: What else would I want to pump you for? I really just said that, didn't I?
31.Spike: Yeah. You'd think if the government was gonna put a chip in my head, they'd at least make it so I can attack criminals and that sort.
Buffy: Yes. Because muggers deserve to be eaten. You'll just have to get your rocks off fighting demons.
Spike: There are other ways.
32.Spike: Thought you might be up for a little grunt work.
Buffy: What? No! No, no grunting!
Spike: I was talking shop, luv, but if you got other ideas. You. Me. A cozy little tomb with a view.
Buffy hangs up phone
Xander: So, what did Captain Peroxide want?
Buffy: Nothing! You know, he just wanted to see if I wanted to patrol. For the monster. But I told him that I would...not.
33.Spike: (slithering voice) Slayer...
Buffy: Spike?
Spike: Slayer..
Buffy: Spike? Is that you?
Spike: Bloody hell!.. Yes, it's me.
Buffy: You're calling me on the telephone?
Spike: Meet me in the cemetery in one hour.
Buffy: Why?
Spike: I thought you might be up for some grunt work.
Buffy: No! No grunting!
Spike: That not what I meant, but if you have something else in mind...
34.Spike: You can't deny it. There's something between us.
Buffy: Loathing. Disgust!
Spike: Heat.. Desire..
35.Spike: Don't mock this!
Buffy: Go mock yourself!
36.Buffy: What the hell are you doing in my house?
Spike: Right then. Caught me. You're basement's full of junk, and me being in need of, uh, junk-
Buffy: You were stealing?
Spike: Well, yeah. Can't exactly work the counter at a burger bar now, can I?
Buffy: Wait. Are those pictures of me?
37.Buffy: Every time you show up like this, you risk all of your parts, you know that?
Spike: I wouldn't be here if I didn't have a good reason. As usual, I'm here to help you, and I- are you naked under there?
Buffy: Get out.
Spike: No, I'm serious. I mean, not about the naked part, I mean-
Buffy: Get out or I will drop you out head first.
38.Spike (holding a box of chocolates, talking to a mannequin intended to represent Buffy): Um... there's something I got to tell you. About showing you Riley in that place. I didn't mean to... (long pause) Anyway, I know you're feeling all betrayed - by him, not me. I was trying to help, you know. Not like I made him be there, after all. Actually trying to help you. Best intentions. I mean, you know, pretty state you'd be in, thinking things are all right while he's toddling halfway round the bend. (He stares at the mannequin and starts to get increasingly angry.) Oh, I'll insult him if I want to! I'm the one who's on your side! Me! Doing you a favor! And you, being dead petty about it - me, getting nothing but your hatred and your venom and- you ungrateful bitch! Fuc- bitch! (He loses control and smashes the box of chocolates over the mannequin's head. He then sighs, picks up the mannequin and replaces it. He rearranges the wig, picks up the box of chocolate, and tries to stuff the chocolates back in. He composes himself and faces the mannequin again. ) Spike: Buffy... there's something I want to tell you.
39.'Listen to me, you stupid bint. This gem is everything I came back to Sunnydale for,which has witnessed some truly spectacular kickings of my ass. Now, when I have the gem, they'll all die, don't worry. But until then, stay inside. And by the way, I would be insanely happy if I head bugger all about sodding France.'
40.'It's definitely the crypt, right? I'm not keen on tunneling into someone's septic tank.'
41.'We killed a homeless man on this bench. Me and Dru. Those were good times.'
42.'So, we got to Brazil, and she was... she was just different. I gave her everything - beautiful jewels, beautiful dresses with beautiful girls in them, but nothing made her happy. And she would fliiirt! I caught her on a park bench, making out with a chaos demon! Have you ever seen a chaos demon? They're all slime and antlers. They're disgusting.'
43.'Yeah, well sometimes I like to crumble up the Weetabix in the blood, give it a little texture.'
44.'Poor Spike's become a cautionary tale for vampires, right? 'You better be good, kiddies,or else they might wire you up someday!''
45.'And I'm just supposed to help you out of the evilness of my heart?'
46.'You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love till it kills you both.
You'll fight, and you'll shag, and you'll hate each other till it makes you quiver, but
you'll never be friends. Love isn't brains, children, it's blood... blood screaming inside you to work its will. I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it.'
47.Riley: (at the City Dump) : What are you doing here, Spike?
Spike: Oh, there's a nice lady vampire who's set up a tea room over by the next pile of crap. What do you think I'm doing?
48.Spike: And I should do what with my spare time? Sit at home knitting cunning sweater sets?
Buffy: Would it keep you out of my way?
49.Buffy: Spike, I just saw you taste your own nose blood. You know what? I'm too grossed out to hear anything you have to say. Go home.
Spike: It's blood. It's what I do!
50.Spike: I will know your blood, Slayer. I will make your neck my chalice... and drink deep.
(turns around and falls into an open grave) Ow!
51.Spike: Oh, Pacey! You blind idiot. Can't you see she doesn't love you?
52.Spike: ...bathe in the Slayer's blood. I'm gonna dive in it. Swim in it. I'm gonna do the bloody backstroke.
53.Spike: There's no demon in there. It's just a family legend, am I right? Just a bit of spin to keep the ladies in line? You're a piece of work. I like you.
54.Spike: You know there are quite a few American beers that are highly underrated. This, unfortunately, is not one of them.
55.Spike: As I thought: Some nasty thing got a taste of you.
Buffy: Don't get all excited. I'm fine.
Spike: Oh, right. Stuck in a dark corner with a creature you loathe, digging up past uglies,'cause you're fine.
Buffy: Were you born this big a pain in the ass?
Spike: What can I tell you, baby? I've always been bad.
56.Buffy: So you traded up on the food chain. Then what?
Spike: No, please! Don't make it sound like something you'd flip past on the Discovery Channel. Becoming a vampire is a profound and powerful experience. I could feel this new strength coursing through me. Getting killed made me feel alive for the very first time.
57.Spike: Oh, I'm sorry, did I sully our good name? We're vampires.
58.Spike: The way you tell it, one Slayer's snuffs it, another one rises. I figure there's a new Chosen One getting all chosen as we speak.
59.Spike: Death is on your heels, baby. And sooner or later, it's gonna catch you. And part of you wants it. Not only to stop the fear and uncertainty, but because you're just a little bit in love with it.
60.Spike: Death is your art. You make it with your hands day after day. That final gasp, that look of peace. And part of you is desperate to know: What's it like? Where does it lead you? And now you see, that's the secret. Not the punch you didn't throw or the kicks you didn't land. She really wanted it. Every Slayer has a death wish. Even you.
61.Spike: Sooner or later, you're gonna want it. And the second - the second - that happens, you know I'll be there. I'll slip in, have myself a real good day.
62.Spike: Come on. I can feel it, Slayer. You know you wanna dance.
Buffy: Say it's true. Say I do want to. (She pushes him to the ground.) It wouldn't be you,Spike. It would never be you. (She throws the cash at him.) You're beneath me.
63.Spike: "Beneath me." I'll show her. Six bloody feet beneath me. Hasn't got a death wish? Bitch won't need one.
64.Spike (after Buffy stakes him): Oh, do it again. It tickles. You know, in a good way.
Buffy: The Gem.
Spike: Oh yeah, the Gem of Amara. Official sponsor of my killing you.
65.Spike: So, you let Parker take a poke, eh? Didn't seem like you knew each other that well.
What exactly did it take to pry apart the Slayer's dimpled knees.
Buffy: You're a pig, Spike.
66.Spike (about Buffy): I always worried what would happen when that bitch got some funding.
67.Spike: What part of 'help me!' do you not understand?
Buffy: The part where I help you.
68.Spike (regarding Xander): Oh, leave that one! He looks like he's ready to drop any minute, and I think I can eat someone if he's already dead.
69.Giles: We can't let you go until we're sure that you're impotent or -
Spike: Hey!
Giles: Sorry, poor choice of words. Until we know that you're...
Buffy: Flaccid?
Spike: You are one step away, missy!
Buffy: Giles help! He's gonna scold me!
70.Buffy: Look at my poor neck - all bare, and tender, and exposed. All that blood, just pumping away..
Spike: Giles, make her stop!
71.Spike: Passions is on! Timmy's down the bloody well, and if you make me miss it I'll -
Giles: Do what? Lick me to death?
72.Spike: When I get this spell reversed, they'll be finding your body for weeks.
Buffy: Oh, make a move. Please. I'm dying for a good slay!
73.Buffy: It's just so sudden, I don't know what to say.
Spike: Just say yes, and make me the happiest man on earth.
Buffy: Oh, Spike, of course it's yes!
74.Giles: Are you helping me?
Spike: Well, it's almost like you're my father-in-law, isn't it?
75.Spike: This is the crack team that foils my every plan? I am deeply shamed.
76.Xander: Yeah, right, you're marrying Spike because you're so right for each other.
Buffy: Xander!
Spike: That's it, you're off the usher list.
77.Buffy: Spike, these are my friends. Besides, it's kind of my job.
Spike: For now.
Buffy: What, you want me to stop working?
Spike: Let's see. Do I want you to give up killing my friends? Yeah, I've given it some thought.
78.Spike: Sometimes I like to crumble the Weetabix in the blood. Gives it a little texture.
Giles: Since the picture you just painted means that I will never touch food of any kind again, you'll just have to pick it up yourself.
Spike: Sissy.
79.Anya: You don't need me. All you care about is lots of orgasms.
(Giles and Spike stare at them.)
Xander: OK, remember how we talked about private conversations? How they're less private when they're in front of my friends?
Spike: Oh, we're not your friends; go on.
80.Spike (about Xander and Anya): I'm not having these two shag while I'm tied to a chair three feet away.
81.Spike: Like I'd bite you anyway.
Xander: Oh, you would!
Spike: Not bloody likely.
Xander: I happen to be very biteable, pal. I'm moist, and delicious.
Spike: All right, yeah, fine. You're a nummy treat.
Xander: And don't you forget it!
82.Spike (imitating Anya in a girly voice): Xander, don't you care about me?
Xander: Shut up.
Spike: We never talk.
Xander: Shut! Up!
Spike: Xaan-der...
Xander: Shut up!
83.Spike: My sodding sleeping chair's bloody... sodden.
84.Spike: Do I look like a plumber to you?
Xander: No, you look like a big mooch who doesn't lift a finger around here!
85.Xander (Upon finding Spike trying to stake himself): We've shared a lot here. You should have trusted me enough to do it for you.
Willow: Xander!
Xander: What? He wants to die, I wanna help...
Willow: It's okay! We know him! We can't just let him poof himself!
86.Spike: Oh, but you can. You know I'd drain you drier than the Sahara if I had half a chance.
87.Spike: Stuck in this basement washing skivvies for a blighter I wouldn't have bothered to bite a few months ago.
Xander: Hey! Think of the happy. If we don't find what we're looking for, we're facing the apocalypse.
Spike (cheering up): Really? You're not just saying that?
88.Spike (to Willow and Xander): Buffy fights the forces of evil. You're just her groupies.
89.Spike (on his newly regained bad-assness): That's right! I'm back and I'm a bloody animal! Yeah!
90.Spike (in a very bad Midwestern accent): Me? No. No, sir. I'm just an ol' pal of Xander's here.
91.Xander (while Spike packs up his things, including Xander's radio): That's my radio!
Spike: And you're what, shocked and disappointed? I'm evil.
92.Anya: So what kind of place are you looking for?
Spike: I don't know. Maybe a crypt. Someplace, you know, dark and dank - but not as dark and dank as this.
Anya: It's pretty depressing, isn't it?
Spike: I've known corpses with a fresher smell. In fact, I've been one.
93.Spike: Well. What do I spy with my little eye? A demon. That would be - oh, right... the things I can kill.
94.Spike (describing Giles and Ethan): Two of them. English like me, but older, less
attractive.
95.Spike: How ya feeling, mate?
Giles: Like snapping necks until everyone's dead.
Spike: Now that's a Fyarl demon. Good for you.
96.Spike (to Giles): And I don't want you crawling back here, knocking on my door, pleading for
help the second teen witch's magic goes all wonky, or little Xander cuts a new tooth.
97.Riley: That's hostile seventeen.
Spike (in his bad American accent): No. I'm just a friend of Xander's... Bugger it. I'm your guy.
Buffy: This is Spike. He's um... it's a really long story. But he's not bad anymore!
Spike: Hey! What am I, a bleeding broken record? I'm bad! It's just... I can't bite anymore,thanks to you wankers.
98.Spike: Double shot of O-Neg, keep. Make it the good stuff. I don't want no freakin' Orangutan.
99.Spike: "Can't any one of your damned little Scooby club at least try to remember that I hate you all?"
100.Spike (to Buffy): Yeah, back off, Betty!
Buffy: It's Buffy! You big, bleached... stupid guy.
101.Anya: Oh now, come on! You're not even bumpy anymore.
Spike (feeling his forehead): Oh. I was just a minute ago. Hang on, get me mad again.
102.Anya: A year and a half ago I could have eviscerated him with my thoughts. Now I can barely hurt his feelings. Things used to be so much simpler.
Spike: You know... You take the killing for granted... And then it's gone, and you're like..I wish I'd appreciated it more. Stop and smell the corpses, you know?
103.Spike (entering the Lowell House party with Anya): Hey... I know these guys from somewhere. Anya: Initiative soldiers. They live here. Experiments happen in the lab under the house - that's where they kept you and put in your chip. Let's have fun!
Spike: What are you doing? You brought me here?
Xander: Anya? What are you doing? You brought him here?
Spike: That's what I said, only I hit the "here" part.
104.Spike (about Xander): Oh... Who's the puffed up manly man, all splotchy and possessive.
105.Giles: How did you get in?
Spike: The door was unlocked. You might want to watch that, Rupert. Someone dangerous could get in.
Buffy: Or, someone formerly dangerous and currently annoying.
106.Spike (startling Giles): You know, for someone who's got "Watcher" on his résumé, you might want to cast an eye to the front door every now and again.
107.Spike: Attitude. See how far that will take you in boot camp. Say, I hope you get one of
those tough-as-nails Drill Sergeants, who's only hard on the men because he's trying to keep them alive when the bullets start flying. I love that stuff.
108.Spike: Hey, it was just a laugh. There's no need to go insane over it.
Xander: Is anybody talking to you?
Spike: Sir, no, sir!
109.Spike (to Adam, about getting his chip removed): Hello? Paging Dr. Owe-me-one.
110.Spike: Well, well, you can take the boy out of the Initiative, but you can't take the initiative out of the boy.
111.Riley: I'm out to find him before he gets another shot at her.
Spike: Tough talk cowboy, but you're not gonna catch him napping in a crypt. No, the Counthas to have his luxury estate, and his bug-eaters, and his special dirt, doesn't he?
Riley: So you're saying I should check out mansions, that sort of thing?
Spike: No, I'm saying you should go home to your superhoney; have a nice, safe snog.
112.Spike: If every vampire who said he was at the crucifixion was actually there, it would
have been like Woodstock.
113.Spike: You think you can fool me?! You were my sire, man! You were my... Yoda!
Angel: Things change.
Spike: Not us! Not demons! Man, I can't believe this. You Uncle Tom!
114.Spike: A Slayer with family and friends. That sure as hell wasn't in the brochure. 115.Angel: Spike.
Joyce: Oh, my God. Get out of here!
Spike: Yeah! You're not invited.
Joyce: He's crazy. He'll kill us.
Spike: Not while I breathe. Well, actually, I don't breathe.
Angel: Joyce, listen to me.
Joyce: You get out of this house, or I will stake you myself.
Spike: You're a, very, bad, man.
Angel: Joyce, you can't trust him. Invite me in. You touch her, and I'll cut your head off!
Spike: Yeah? You and what army?
Buffy: That would be me. Angel, why don't you come on in?
116.Spike: Oh, yeah. You two. Just friends. No danger there.
117.Spike: Well! This is just... neat!
118.Dalton: Uh, yes, but... The Order of Taraka, I mean... isn't that overkill?
Spike: No, I think it's just enough kill.
119.Drusilla: I'm naming all the stars.
Spike: You can't see the stars, love. That's the ceiling. Also, it's day.
120.Spike: Did you see any further? Do you know what happens to Angel?
Angelus: Well, he moves to New York and tries to fulfill that Broadway dream. It's tough sledding, but one day he's working in the chorus when the big star twists her ankle.
Spike: You don't give up, do you?
Angelus: As long as there's injustice in the world, as long as scum like you is walking... well, rolling the streets... I'll be around. Look over your shoulder. I'll be there.
Spike: Uh, yeah. Angel, um... look over your shoulder.
121.Spike: Now, I know you haven't been in the game for a while, mate, but we still do kill people. Sort of our raison d'etre, you know.
122.Angelus: You can see all that in your head?
Spike: No, you ninny. She read it in the morning paper.
123.Spike: Dru bagged a Slayer? She didn't tell me! Hey, good for her! Though not from your perspective, I suppose.
124.Angelus: Keep out of it, sit 'n' spin.
Spike: Look, you cut him up, you'll never get your answers.
Angelus: Since when did *you* become so levelheaded?
Spike: Right about the time you became so pig-headed. You have your way with him, you'll
never get to destroy the world. And I don't fancy spending the next month trying to get librarian out of the carpet.
125.Spike: Oh, someone put a stake in me.
Xander: You got a lot of volunteers in here.
Spike: I just can't take all this mamby-pamby boo-hooing about the bloody Indians.
Buffy: Uh, the preferred term--
Spike: You won. All right? You came in and you killed them and you took their land. That's what conquering nations do. It's what Caesar did, and he's not going around saying,
'I came, I conquered, I felt really bad about it.' The history of the world isn't people
making friends. You had better weapons, and you massacred them. End of story.
126.Spike: I'd do it. Right person. Person I loved. I'd do it.
127.Buffy: We're not all gonna make it. You know that.
Spike: Yeah. Hey. Always knew I'd go down fightin'.
Buffy: I'm counting on you... to protect her.
Spike: Till the end of the world. Even if that happens to be tonight.
Buffy: I'll be a minute.
Spike: Yeah. *hesitates* I know you'll never love me. I know that I'm a monster. But you treat me like a man. And that's... Get your stuff, I'll be here.
128.Giles: You might have let me in on your plan while he throttled me.
Spike: Oh, poor Watcher. Did your life pass before your eyes? Cuppa tea, cuppa tea, almost got shagged, cuppa tea?
129.Spike : Uh... I do remember what I said. The promise. To protect her. If I had done that... even if I didn't make it... you wouldn't have had to jump. But I want you to know I did save you. Not when it counted, of course, but... after that. Every night after that. I'd see it all again... do something different. Faster or more clever, you know? Dozens of times, lots of different ways... Every night I save you...
130.Buffy : When did the building fall down?
Spike : Heh. I don't know. Must have been some time between the first time and the, uh..
131.Spike : I may be dirt, but you're the one who likes to roll in it.
132.Spike : I'm through being your whipping boy.
133.Spike: How can I thank you, you mysterious black clad hunk of a night thing? - No need, little lady. Your tears of gratitude are enough for me. You see, I was once a badass vampire but love and a pesky curse defanged me. And now, I'm just a biiig fluffy puppy with baaad teeth. No, not the hair, never the hair. - But there must be some way I can show my appreciation... - No! Helping those in need's my job...and working up a load of sexual tension and prancing away like a magnificent poof is truly thanks enough. - I understand,
I have a nephew who's gay, so.... - Say no more...evil's still afoot, and I'm almost out of that nancyboy hairgel I like so much. Quickly, to the Angelmobile...away!
134.Buffy: Lame.
Spike: What?
Buffy: You. Making up excuses.
Spike: Don't flatter yourself luv, bloody fond of that lighter.
Buffy: Stop trying to see me. And stop calling me that.
Spike: So um, what should I call you then? Pet?...Sweetheart?...my little Goldilocks?...you
know I love this hair. Especially the way it bounces when - nuh uh uh! the flapjack's not
ready to be flipped.
Buffy: What is that supposed to me- ohh. *whispers* stop that.
Xander: Good Godfrey Cambridge Spike! Still trying to mack on Buffy? Never gonna happen!
Like anyone would ever hook up with you well unless they were a simpleton like Harmony or a
nutcase like Dru-
Buffy: HEY!...
135.Xander: What are you doing?
Spike: What am I...what does it look like I'm doing you nit? I'm exercising!
Xander: Right...excercising...in bed...naked.
136.Buffy: You know this place isn't that bad for a hole in the ground. You fixed this place
up.
Spike: Yeah, well I ate a decorator once. Something must've stuck.
Buffy: You know I've been thinking of doing something to my room.
Spike: Yeah?
Buffy: I think the New Kids On The Block posters are starting to date me.
Spike: Well if you want, I can - are we having a conversation?
Buffy: What? No. Maybe?
*Spike chuckles*
Buffy: What?
Spike: Isn't this usually the part where you kick me in the head and then run off?
Buffy: That's the plan. After I can feel my legs again.
Spike: You were amazing.
Buffy: You got the job done yourself.
Spike: I was just trying to keep up. The things you do...The way you make it hurt in all the
wrong places. I've never been with such an animal.
Buffy: I'm not an animal!
Spike: You wanna see bite marks?
Buffy: It's getting late. I should get home before Dawn goes to sleep.
Spike: And off she goes.
Buffy: Have you seen my underwear?
Spike: What is this to you?
Buffy: It's just this.
Spike: Do you even like me?
Buffy: Sometimes.
Spike: (shows a pair of handcuffs) Do you trust me?
Buffy: Never.
137.Buffy: Why won't you just let me go?
Spike: Because I love you.
Buffy: No you don't!
Spike: You think I haven't tried not to?
138.Spike: That's my girl.
Buffy: I am not your girl! You don't have a soul. There is nothing good or clean in you.
You are dead inside. You can't feel anything real. I could never be your girl!
Spike: You always hurt the ones you love, pet.
139.Spike: Cecily!??
Halfrek: William!??
Spike: Bloody hell!
140.Who the hell is this?
141.I'll only kill you this once.
142.To Dru: I don't want to hurt you baby.*she hits him* *he hits her back* Doesn't mean I won't.
143.I know I'm not the first choice for heroics. And Buffy's tried to kill me more than once.
And I don't fancy a single one of you at all but...actually all that sounds pretty
convincing.
144.It's paradise! Big windows and lovely gardens. They'll be perfect for when we want the sunlight to kill us.
145.You know what I find works real good with Slayers?...Killing them.
146.I don't like to brag.. Oh who am I kidding, I love to brag!
147.Do I have anyone on watch here? Its called security, people. Are you all asleep? Or did we finally find a restaurant that delivers?
148.I'm a veal kind of guy, you're too old to eat (breaks man's head off) But not to kill.
149.Happy to oblige. And here I thought it was gonna be a slow night. Step on up, kiddies. Thrashings for all.
150.Buffy, Buffy, Buffy! Everywhere I turn she's there, that... that nasty little face, that bouncing shampoo- commercial hair. The whole sodding holier than thou attitude... She follows me, you know. Tracks me down. I'm her pet project... drive Spike round the bend. Makes every day a fresh bout of torture. You don't understand! I can't get rid of her; she's everywhere. She's haunting me, Harmony! This has got to end.
151.I know I'm a bad poet. But I'm a good man. All I ask is that you try to see me...
152.Quickly, I'm the very spirit of vexation. What's another word for 'gleaming?' It's a perfectly perfect words as many words go but the bother is nothing rhymes, you see.
153.After that, I was obsessed. I mean, to most vampires, the Slayer was this object of cold sweat and frightened whispers. But I never hid. Hell, I sought her out. I mean, if you're looking for fun, there's Death, there's Glory, sod all else, right? I was young.
You think I was gonna leave town? Free country. Free party. You want me to leave you can put your hands on my hot tight little body and make me.
154.Buckle up, kids! Daddy's puttin' the hammer down.
155.Blood is life, lackbrain. Why do you think we eat it? It's what keeps you going, makes you warm, makes you hard, makes you other than dead. 'Course it's her blood.
156.So. Who do you kill for fun around here?
157.Slaaayer! Here, kitty, kittyyy. I find one of your friends first, I'm gonna suck 'em dry. And use their bones to bash your head in.
158.Look at you. Shaking. Terrified. Alone. Lost little lamb. I love it.
159.You got any of those little marshmallows?
160.I'm done. Put the telly on.
161.Oh, not with the girl power bit!
162.Well, I gotta have something. I still have Buffy taste in my mouth.
163.Some people find pain very inspirational.
164.Oh, I'm sorry baby. I'm a bad, rude man.
165.Love's a funny thing.
166.Oh, yeah. See, the poor little twig can't keep a man. Gets her all down. Few more disappointments and she'll be crying on my shoulder, mark my words.
167.So when do we destroy the world, already?
168.Yeah, yeah, "anything happens to 'em I'll stake you good and proper." Sing me a new one sometime, eh? That bit's gone stale.
169.A spot of violence before bedtime.
170.You're supposed to kill her, not leave gag gifts in her friends' beds.
171.Willy (Dodgy bar tender): "What're you gonna do with him (Angel) anyway?"
Spike: "I'm thinking - maybe dinner and a movie. I don't know want to rush into anything. I've been hurt, y'know.